Sunday, November 15, 2015

Monday / Tuesday November 16/ 17






Once again, you are writing a summary of news leads. (I am emphasizing this as it's about time to write your own news stories.) This time, however, I am asking you to write a more complex story, following the inverted pyramid format based upon reporter's notes.





FIRST REVIEW THESE 6 RULES.

Take your time and note the examples. I hope these are familiar by

 now. Make sure to know the following terms: attribution, blind 

lead.



Rule #1A straight news lead should be a single 

paragraph consisting of a single sentence, should contain no 

more than 30 words, and should summarize, at minimum, the 

most newsworthy "what," "where" and "when" of the story.

Example: "Fire destroyed a house on Main Street early Monday 

morning."

The lead is a single-sentence paragraph. Note, please, that a lead 

should be written in ordinary English, not the clipped phrasing

 reserved for headlines like "Main Street home destroyed in early 

morning fire."

 Headlines, which appear in large print above the stories they 

introduce, are written that way to conserve space.

It contains 10 words -- far fewer than the 30-word limit. Notice 

that the word count includes even little words like "a" and "on."

It summarizes the main "what" of the story, which is that fire 

destroyed a house.

It also provides the "where" of the story with the phrase "on Main 

Street."

Finally, it gives the "when" of the story with the phrase "early 

Monday morning."

Important note: There are some mental gymnastics involved in 

correctly conveying the "when" of a newspaper story. Suppose, for

 example, that today is Monday, and the fire happened this 

morning. You might be tempted to write the lead like this: "Fire

 destroyed a house on Main Street early this morning." And doing 

so would be just fine if your lead were going to be published that 

same day. But most newspapers get printed overnight and 

distributed the following morning. That means that a reader who 

picks up the paper Tuesday morning and reads that the fire 

occurred "this morning" will inaccurately assume that "this 

morning" means "Tuesday morning." To avoid this problem, you 

have to write the lead - and, indeed, the entire story - so that it will

 be accurate when read during the reader's time frame: "Fire 

destroyed a house on Main Street early Monday morning."





Rule #2: The lead's first verb should express the main  or "what" of

 the story and should be placed among the lead's first seven words.

Example: "Fire destroyed a house on Main Street early Monday 

morning."

The verb "destroyed" expresses the main "what" of the story.

"Destroyed" is the lead's second word -- a position that puts

 "destroyed" well in front of "Street," the lead's seventh word.

Again, notice that the word count includes even little words like 

"a" and "on."

There are no other verbs in front of "destroyed," so "destroyed" is 

the lead's first verb.

Following this rule will force you to quickly tell readers what the

 story is about.






Rule #3: The lead's first verb -- the same one that expresses the 

main "what" of the story -- should be active voice, not passive

 voice.

A verb is active voice if the verb's subject did, is doing, or will do 

something.

Example: "Fire destroyed a house on Main Street early Monday 

morning."

"Destroyed" is the verb.

"Fire" is the verb's subject.

"Fire" did something. It destroyed.

A verb is passive voice if the verb's subject had, is having, or will 

have something done to it.

Example: "A house was destroyed by fire on Main Street early 

Monday morning."

"Was" is the verb.

"House" is the verb's subject.

"House" had something done to it. It "was destroyed."



Rule #4: If there's a "who" involved in the story, the lead should

 give some indication of who the "who" is.

First example: "An elderly Murfreesboro man died Monday when

 an early morning fire raged through his Main Street home."

The "who" is "an elderly Murfreesboro man."

In this case, the "who" probably isn't someone whose name readers

 would recognize.

As a result, the "who" angle of the lead focuses on what things 

about the "who" might make the "who" important to the reader. In 

this case, it's the fact that the man was older and lived in

 Murfreesboro.

That's called writing a "blind lead." The man's name will be 

given later in the story.

Second example: "Murfreesboro Mayor Joe Smith died Monday 

when an early morning fire raged through his Main Street home."

Smith is the local mayor, and most readers probably will recognize

 his name.

As a result, the lead gives his name.

Rule #5: The lead should summarize the "why" and "how" of the 

story, but only if there's room.

Example: "An elderly Murfreesboro man died early Monday

 morning when fire sparked by faulty wiring raged through his 

Main Street home."

"... fire ... raged through his Main Street home ..." explains why the 

man died.

"... sparked by faulty wiring ..." explains how the blaze began.

Rule #6: If what's in the lead needs to be attributed, place the

 attribution at the end of the lead

Example: "Faulty wiring most likely sparked the blaze that 

claimed 

the life of an elderly Murfreesboro man last week, the city's arson

 investigator concluded Monday."

Attribution is simply a reference indicating the source of some 

bit of information.

In this case, the attribution is the phrase, "the city's arson 


investigator concluded Monday."

Generally, attribute assertions that represent anything other than 

objective, indisputable information.

Here, there should be no doubt in anyone's mind that the man is 

dead, that his house was destroyed, that it all happened early

 Monday morning, and that he house was on Main Street.

But the arson investigator's assertion that faulty wiring caused the

 blaze represents the investigator's opinion (based, of course, upon

 his training and expertise - but an opinion nonetheless). Therefore, 

the assertion needs to be attributed to the investigator so readers 

can decide how credible the assertion is.


With the inverted pyramid, the guiding principle is that the most 

important (and most recent) information goes on top. As the reader

 progresses through the story, the information gets less and less

 important, and older. In an inverted pyramid story, the story is not 

told chronologically. Instead, we put the climax at the beginning.

 It’s the result that readers care about.

Sprinkle in a few key quotations from your sources, and you have

 — voila! — a classic inverted pyramid news story.

Why is the inverted pyramid so important to

 journalists? 

1.For readers:  they can skim the top of a story and know they 

have read the most important information.


2. For editors:  they can cut the bottoms off of a story and know

 they’re still saving the most important part for readers.

3. For writers: they have an easy way to organize their thoughts —

 from most important to least important.


Assignment: due by midnight Tuesday. Note 

that there are 2 parts.

 Send both parts 

together. 

Part 1: Below you will find a news story 

consisting of 15 paragraphs. (by now, I am sure

 you realize how short a news story paragraph

 can be.) Demonstrate your understanding of

 the inverted pyramid, by organizing the story

 from the most to least important information. 

Copy and paste the correct organization onto a

 word document.


Demonstrating the inverted pyramid





Iowa Dam Ruptures Under Torrential Rain
By CHRISTINA CAPECCHI, Published: July 24, 2010 in The New York Times 
PARAGRAPH 1
 Rising waters washed out the berm, and large chunks of the road on the dam broke off. “It just peeled off eight-foot sections and dumped them,” said Shirley Helmrichs, the Delaware County supervisor. “The light poles started falling like matchsticks; they just started snapping over. You could hear this crunching, this rumbling. It was like the dam was just growling.
PARAGRAPH 2
The vortex on the lake side of the dam shredded boats, docks and trees, Ms. Helmrichs said. “It just took seconds to shuck them through,” she said. “From perfect to tiny crumbs.
PARAGRAPH 3

“All the entertainment was canceled,” Mr. Dirks said. “We have to come up with something.” 

PARAGRAPH 4
Heavy rain ruptured the Lake Delhi dam on Saturday, sending a torrent into the Maquoketa River below and forcing the evacuation of hundreds of homes and vacation cabins in eastern Iowa. Officials estimated that 8,000 people were affected by the flooding. No injuries or deaths were reported.
PARAGRAPH 5
.”Unrelenting rainfall — 15 inches in the past 48 hours, according to Jeremy Sands of the Delhi Fire Department — caused the early afternoon breaching of the 83-year-old dam. “The dam wasn’t unsafe,” Firefighter Sands said. “It’s just one of those acts of God.”
PARAGRAPH 6
Ms. Helmrichs said she saw a house topple off its foundation. “It just tumbled down, slow motion, into the river,” she said. “It was just so eerie.”
PARAGRAPH 7
At least half a dozen homes were swept away in the flood, according to another Delhi firefighter, Dennis Wilson. “There’s so much turbulence that it washes the soil away from under it, and the houses go with it,” he said. “We’ve never seen anything this wild.”
PARAGRAPH 8
Warning sirens sounded in nearby Hopkinton, a town of 700, and Monticello, which has 3,700 residents. The waters reached thousands of acres of farmland and rose to record heights at several points.
PARAGRAPH 9
Ms. Helmrichs estimated that 700 homes and cabins were evacuated.
PARAGRAPH 10
The flood crested in Manchester, north of the dam, at 24.5 feet, clearing the record of 21.66 feet, set in 2004, according to Mr. Ryan, the emergency manager. “Doing disaster assessment is going to be a nightmare,” he said.
PARAGRAPH 11
The flood became the main attraction at the Jones County Fair in Monticello, where performances by Styx and Joan Jett Saturday night were canceled.
PARAGRAPH 12
Locals packed up and sandbagged, watching and waiting, while a sparse crowd of visitors milled through the muddy fairgrounds.
PARAGRAPH 13

A section of earth about 125 feet wide and 40 feet deep gave way, said the Delaware County emergency manager, Mike Ryan. “It’s the worst damage I’ve been associated with,” he said.

PARAGRAPH 14
At the Kathy’s Kettle Corn stand, Jamey Dirks, 40, said he sold about 30 bags of popcorn when he typically would have sold 500. He put up a sign: “Boat races Sunday 1:00 p.m.”
PARAGRAPH 15

Gate attendants stopped charging admission by 4 p.m., and by 5 p.m., a booth selling $3 beer tickets was abandoned.




Inverted pyramid checklist: This is the rubric with which you will be graded.


a. Does your story begin with a solid straight news lead, one that meets all five of

 our criteria.


b.Is the story free of unattributed opinion?


cAre the paragraphs arranged by order of importance? With background 


material generally relegated to the bottom?


d. Are there adequate quotes? from clearly identified sources? Punctuated 


properly?


e. Do the transitions work between each paragraph?


    Part 2: Write a complete news story in inverted-pyramid form

    based upon the following facts. Note how short the paragraphs


     are! Keep to the facts, but adjust to your own personal style.


     This is not an essay, but a news story.

    A female coyote was captured Thursday.


    The coyote had been roaming the streets of Lower Manhattan in New York City.


    A coyote captured uptown in January was set loose in Pelham Bay Park in

    the Bronx.


    By law, coyotes captured in the city must be released within the five boroughs.


    Officials at the parks department refused to say Friday where in the city they

     intend to release her.

    The city wants to prevent people from harassing the 30-pound coyote in her 

    search for a more suitable habitat, said Vickie Karp, a spokeswoman for 

    the department.


    “We pick the largest and most suitable natural habitat for the coyote,” said Vickie

     Karp, a spokeswoman for the department. “And for the sake of people, we’ll put

     the coyote somewhere with plenty of open space so people don’t have to say, 

    ‘You parked him in front of my house.’”


    The coyote is being monitored at the Animal Care and Control shelter on East 

    110th Street, parks officials said, adding that the animal is resting comfortably in 

    the and they did not know when she would be released.



    With the increase in coyote sightings in the past few years, several New York 

    agencies have been working together to develop a plan on managing the 

    population, said Kevin Jeffrey, a deputy parks commissioner.


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