Monday, November 2 news leads continued

   
In class: lead quiz from reading posted last Thursday.
              New lead reading and practice sentences, which are due by the end of class on Tuesday, October 3

1. The Five W’s and H: Before writing a lead, decide which aspect of the story – who, what, when, where, why, how – is most important. You should emphasize those aspects in your lead. Wait to explain less important aspects until the second or third sentence.  
2. Conflict: Good stories have conflict. So do many good leads.

3. Specificity: Though you are essentially summarizing information in most leads, try to be specific as possible. If your lead is too broad, it won’t be informative or interesting.

4. Brevity: Readers want to know why the story matters to them and they won’t wait long for the answer. Leads are often one sentence, sometimes two. Generally, they are 25 to 30 words and should rarely be more than 40. This is somewhat arbitrary, but it’s important – especially for new journalists – to learn how to deliver information concisely. 

5. Active sentences: Strong verbs will make your lead lively and interesting. Passive constructions,on the other hand, can sound dull and leave out important information, such as the person or thing that caused the action. Incomplete reporting is often a source of passive leads.

6. Audience and context: Take into account what your reader already knows. Remember that in today’s media culture, most readers become aware of breaking news as it happens. If you’re writing for a print publication the next day, your lead should do more than merely regurgitate yesterday’s news.  

7.Honesty: A lead is an implicit promise to your readers. You must be able to deliver what you promise in your lead.

What to Avoid

1 Flowery Language- many beginning writers make the 

mistake of overusing adverbs and adjectives in their leads.

Concentrate instead on using strong verbs and nouns.


2.  Unnecessary words or phrases: Watch out for unintentional redundancy. For example, 2 p.m. Wednesday afternoon, or very unique. You can’t afford to waste space in a news story, especially in the lead. Avoid clutter and cut right to the heart of the story.
3. Formulaic leads: because a lot of news writing is done on deadline, the temptation to write tired leads is strong. Resist it. Readers want information, but they also want to be entertained. Your lead must sound genuine, not merely mechanical.

4. It: Most editors frown on leads that begin with the word it, because it is not precise and disorients the reader.  Professional writers understand the need for clear, concise prose. An industry standard for helping work place writers achieve user-centered, persuasive  and clear prose is the Paramedic Method. When you use the Paramedic Method, you will reduce your word count by eliminating passive voice and redundancies.  The Paramedic Method is an easy to learn systematic way to make your sentences more persuasive and user-centered

Circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto, into)

Draw a box around the "is" verb forms.

Ask. "Where's the action?"



Move the doer into the subject (Who's kicking whom)




Eliminate any unnecessary, slow wind-ups.



Eliminate any redundancies.

1. \

1. Read the following and correct

   1.Use an ACTIVE verb with a clear SUBJECT—put the subject first:

         An account was opened by Mrs. Simms

1. 
   
   2. Squeeze long verb phrases into single ACTIVE verbs:

   The departure of the fleet is thought to be

   
   

   necessarily conditional on the weather. 

2. 
   
3. Avoid "shun" words—nominalization


My recommendation is for a larger budget. 


4. Revise all "expletive" sentences beginning with "there is" or "there

are" or "this is."


 There is a certain possibility that Joe will visit before




 Thanksgiving. 


5 Shift verbs to the positive from the negative:


Do not accept bids that are not signed. 



Assignment : Due by Tuesday at the close of class

Rewrite the following sentences, applying the above 

reading. 


1. The decision was made by my boss yesterday.

1. 
   
   2. Their motives were applauded by us, but their wisdom was doubted.
   
   
   3. The meeting was coordinated by Doug in Paul's absence.
   
   
   4. Even when the sun is hidden and the sky is speckled with stars, the heat lingers, hanging motionless in the air.
   
   
   5. There were ten students in Mrs. Robinson's class.
   
   
   6. It is the governor who signs or vetoes bills.
   
   
   7. Controlling the quality and level of television shows that children watch is a continuing challenge to parents that they must meet on a daily basis.
   
   
   8. Your figures were checked by the research department.
   
   
   9. My recommendation is for a larger budget.
   
   
   10. It is essential that we act immediately.
   
   
   11. Please take into consideration my offer.
   
   
   12. Our disposal procedure is in conformity with federal standards.
   
   
   13. We are currently in the situation of completing our investigation of all aspects of the accident.
   
   
   14. There are many women who never marry.
   
   
   15. The fact of the matter is that machines merely amplify worker's abilities and exist only as they are able to do the bidding of workers effectively.
   
   
   16. There are people that have the impression that Spanish is our first language, and English is a second.
   
   
   17. There was a bonfire going, and some music playing in the background, but not very many people were dancing.
   
   
   18. The point I wish to make is that the employees working at this company are in need of a much better manager of their money.
   
   
   19. It is our hope that you will find these changes mutually beneficial for yourself and your students.
   
   
   20. The impact of the shortage of paper in the publishing industry is that it is not a short term problem but will be with us for some time to come and can seriously affect the number of books produced by the industry.