Andrew Solomon is a writer and lecturer on psychology, politics, and the arts; winner of the National Book Award; and an activist in LGBT rights, mental health, and the arts.
Please watch the Ted Talk below, entitled Love, No Matter What with Andrew Solomon. This link has subtitles. Note that the video is 21 minutes long.
Please follow the same procedure as Monday and Tuesday:
today listen and write a minimum 150 word response and post to the blog. (due by midnight) and on Thursday, respond on the blog to any two people. Make sure to identify yourself, so as you receive credit.
CAZ-
ReplyDeleteWhile he is talking he is making good points about how being gay is not an illness, rather it’s a culture. He makes a great comparison between gay people and deaf people and how it can’t be fixed and they can survive and succeed in a culture of their own. He makes a point that love can overcome a lot of setbacks and it can take your children very far. His view on gay people is interesting as he uses many different examples to help his argument such as dwarfism and autism. He shows that they are not that far apart as people see these things as disabilities that make people different, but in the end the culture and lifestyle can actually help people. "It's our differences that unite us." He says that diversity gives us strength in which its ok to be not just gay, but transgender, autistic, deaf, etc. His main idea is that acceptance is different from love and that acceptance takes time, but love will oversee everything else.
The way you paraphrased this whole 21 minute video was pretty accurate. His emphasizing of acceptance was a major aspect of the whole video. The fact that people have such a narrow view of how society is supposed to be and he believe there are two types of view points in the world its not what everyone generalizes people to be.
DeleteI liked the way you pretty much put everything in this one response about the whole video and your response is actually something that I can look at and say "oh ok I get it". Some things that Solomon was saying during the speech I didn't get or the comparisons he was trying to make were sometimes confusing.
DeleteKalvon-
ReplyDeleteWhen I first started watching the video I noticed that he made a comparison between gay people and deaf people and how nothing or no one can change the fact like someone is gay or deaf but they can still survive and succeed even with being deaf or being gay. I also noticed while watching the video why it's entitled "Love, no matter what" because he is basically saying love is the base for everything. He makes a point that love can get you through things and it can take someone very far. I agree when Solomon says "people engage with the life they have". He is stating the fact you can't change, eliminate, or cure what people do with their life. People want to be whoever they want to be. He also talks about children who are transgender and prodigies who also face similar challenges and that negotiating differences within families actually unites us.
I like that you also found the deeper meaning of "Love, no matter what." This was a very important aspect of the video. I didn't hear him say, "people engage with they life they have". I like that you brought attention to that quote. It supports the fact that you can not change who people are. This also ties together with the comparison between gay people and deaf people.
DeleteThis video showed how he made a comparison about being gay and being deaf. He states that they’re a culture and it’s not an illness. The title “Love, no matter what” is saying that love can help you through anything, the good times and the bad. He talked about how when he was little his mom thought his favorite color was blue but he actually wanted the pink balloon, just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you can’t like what others may like, you’re still the same and should be treated like one. Diversity gives strength and allows people to be whoever they want and like whoever they want without being criticized or judge on who they are. Love, no matter what makes people feel safe with who they are and within their communities and their country.
ReplyDeleteI love how you included the fact that its a culture creating a great theme for the whole video. The fact that he is trying to be a moral entrepreneur of the idea that it is not an illness. THat the acceptance of it will cause less tension and have a better outcome and when you said "diversity gives strength" i support that the the fullest.
DeleteI also thought it was interesting that he made this comparison because ive never thought about it like this. It is true that the things that make certain people "different" are not illnesses but a type of culture they are categorized in. This statement gives everyone equal dignity in the way that nothing is wrong with us , we just have differences that make us who we are.It also makes people feel accepted because they dont feel like anything is wrong with them. I agree that love does make people feel safe therefore people should be able to love anyone they please , as long as they are happy.
DeleteI agree with your statement. I liked that he made the comparison between cultures, and made each one valid by comparing them to cultures that the majority of people already consider valid, like the Jewish culture or Christian culture. I also enjoyed how he spoke of his personal experience with his mother and how she often told him she would love him unconditionally. His message of unconditional love and eventual acceptance from parents with children who may be “different” or outside of what society considers the mainstream tied well into his own personal experience.
DeleteAleah Adams
ReplyDeleteThis video was another informative and eye opening one. I had no idea about “deaf culture”. It’s kind of funny that there’s an entire community that I didn’t even know existed that can be within close proximity of me. I think comparing people who are deaf with people who are gay put it in a perspective most people aren’t used too and it shed light on the controversial issue in a different way. I agreed mostly with Andrew Solomon’s outlook on the difference between love and acceptance. I have watched, especially in minorities how they don’t accept gay people, but in the same breathe they still say they love them. I never understood how family members or friends could love someone but not be understanding towards their sexuality or the person that they are. While I agree with Solomon saying that acceptance comes later, but love is always present, I still feel they coincide with one another. I feel that you can’t fully love someone if you don’t accept them, and everyone deserves to be accepted no matter their preferences, attractions, etc.
Aleah, I love how we were both opened up to deaf culture! It was great that he included this and now has given that community more awareness. This also brings the deaf and LGBT community together in a sense that there has been much discrimination and misunderstandings contributed to the groups. These groups have received minimal love and acceptance, which hopefully thanks to this exposure, will influence positive change.
DeleteDevon Slone
DeleteI love your outlook on how your eyes were opened when you learned about deaf culture. I too had no idea that this was even a thing. My cousin goes to R.I.T. and spending time their with her and being on campus you soon learn that they have a huge deaf population. It’s interesting to see them with other like minded people who connect with them on a level most can’t. So, hearing that they have a deaf culture was absolutely amazIng. Some of the things that they have were surprising. Like “deaf poetry” I never knew that was a thing! I also like your intake on the whole “love” versus “acceptance” thing was eye opening for me as well. It’s so true when you think about it. Parents finding out that their child may be homosexual would be shocking, and the parents might be standoffish because it’s something new to them and they don’t accept it. Not speaking for all parents but for a lot they still love their child it’s just something they have to get used to and learn how to accept it.
I agree completely of what you said I never knew that being deaf had a community and that it is really considered being a culture such as being gay. Accepting something that we really do not understand is very difficult for most people, but if you want to continue to have that person in your life, you have to come to some sort of acceptance. I kind of agree to what you were saying you cant fully love someone unless you completely accept them. By watching this people it does bring awareness to all different cultures.
DeleteI also really liked Andrew Soloman’s idea between love and acceptance. If a parent says they accept something about their child, which is a serious part who they are, such as a disability or attraction, then they are not giving their child unconditional love. Parents need to love the difference or differences about their children in order to love the child unconditionally. If one does not love this difference, then it seems that acceptance is the closest thing to eventually being able to love the difference, or at least trying. In order to accept shows one has love for the person, it is not enough, but it is progress. Progress is key to evolution. In this case the evolution is going from not accepting, to accepting, to then providing unconditional love. In some shameful instances, people’s ideas and feelings do not evolve to provide the unconditional love everyone needs.
DeleteThe lifestyle of living back in the 1960’s was mainly based on heavy religious beliefs, you were either a child of god or you were a sinner and punished as so, and tried to be turned normal again as if you had to live by some code of honor. Andrew Solomon grew up in that era where he was forced to like certain things because that’s the way it had to be or you weren’t loved as an individual. He addresses that being gay isn’t an illness like being deaf but it’s an identity that they chose, we have to accept the identities that people want to live by even though it’ll take time. He compares deaf, dwarf, gay people and society and how we treat them. We tend to shut out new or different things rather than to accept them and cope with them. His main point was to idolize the improvements of gay people from how we used to dehumanize them.
ReplyDeleteI agree that life back then like in the 1960s was based on religion because more people back then were very strict Christians or believers in christ and the bible. It was very difficult for homosexuals to be themselves because they were judged so harshly back then. If you were gay to some families they would act like its the end of the world and that you were a sinner and going to hell. This is very sad because it kept people from being themselves or coming out because they were afraid of being judged or shunned from their family or community.
DeleteI completely agree with the first statement about the 1960’s because that is really how they thought and I am so glad I wasn’t born in that era. A lot of people still unfortunately still think like that and that is why Christianity has a ban name to so many homosexual people. Some people just don’t know how to accept people who are different and doesn’t follow what everyone else does. This paragraph is well written and I can tell you feel strongly about the topic and I just love it.
DeleteI completely agree with the earlier statements. The 1960's was a time full of extreme conservatives and isolation. Many gay and disabled peoples were treated inhumanly and often were beaten and even killed for their differences. Your response was well thought and organized which was a plus for those viewing it. We can not control how everyone thinks and feels but acceptance does take time and even the strictest of people can change their views on topics like those discussed in the ted talk. if they get experience and cultured on the areas of confusion like Andrew did then they could come to accept those who are different from them.
Delete
ReplyDeleteThis video was an informative speech about the discrimination of gay people. He is giving his personal input and experience on the issue. I notices he tries to keep a more serious mood with a hint of comedy not too much to throw off the seriousness of the topic. He is giving examples of how people other than gays are as well considered not socially welcomed or accepted into society. He focuses in the beginning on Dwarfs there uncommon feature and how they are viewed by people not necessarily negatively like gay people are but they are excluded from equal treatment. I observed he begins his speech with more family acceptance troubles in the beginning phase of the establishment of maybe being gay or a dwarf or deaf. How certain family lacks the understanding and effort of accepting their own child. This whole video gives people a more broad example of the differences people have and how they are treated or impacted by society.
I liked this Ted Talk for the most part. Besides the fact that he seemed to jump around at the beginning and constantly switch topics, which was a little confusing, I really enjoyed the talk. I found it creative and interesting that he chose to open with a quote from the 1966 news article. At first I was confused about where he was going with the topic, but then when he brought it back to asking, “How did an illness become an identity?” everything made sense. I really liked how he talked about the different things that people claim as illnesses such as being deaf or having Down syndrome. Since I took an ASL class last year, what he was saying was very familiar to me. I actually really loved how he said that love is unconditional but acceptance takes time. I think that is how the world is today. For instance, with LGBTQ+ rights, many people haven’t accepted it yet because acceptance takes time. Although I disagree with anti-LGBTQ+ supporters, Andrew Solomon helped me understand their point of view on the issue. I now realize that although we would like everyone to adapt to the times and move on with their lives, many people are stuck in the past because they cannot let go of their past ideals and learn to just accept it.
ReplyDeleteI thoroughly enjoyed Andrew Solomon's ted talk, it was very informative and understanding. I like how he initiated the lecture using the Times report from 1966. Hearing that quote utterly shocked me. Especially because I thought that those were his own views of homosexuality. The addition of his own experience with a form of not being initially accepted for his identity, made it even more meaningful and personable. This talk is something we all should consider as Solomon mentioned, as we fight for LGBT acceptance, we should do the same for the deaf and disabled. His parallel between all these quote on quote issues was honestly amazing and was definitely relatable for all groups of people. Solomon also showed dedication to this topic as he has been working on it for 10 years, and made his statements even more credible. But he did not just talk about homosexuality and physical disabilities, he also mentioned controversial issues such as the thoughts of the columbine killer's family. what was going on in their son's head and do you regret having him. The fact that he even mentioned his initial views of having children who were different and that he would try to change and or fix them aiding him in relating with the other parents experience all around the world. Also his acceptance of both sides of the "issues", the cultural progresses and the medical progresses showed that he was not bias in his point of view. Solomon's use of the times excerpt about how children with down syndrome were viewed, was another great parallel between what he faced as a child and what other children with "issues" are facing. Overall this ted talk by Andrew Solomon was truly inspirational, with his initial thoughts and views changing with each experience he had over the course of the years, truly showed that we are able to change our crude ways with will and understanding as he did. acceptance does take time but the love of a parent is always there.
ReplyDeleteIn the beginning when he read the quote that time magazine said about homosexuality i was really taken back at how terrible it sounded. It really shows how bad it was for homosexuals back then. Compared to how it is know id say they came a long way.I liked how he said instead of death being looked at as a sickness it should be considered a culture , just like homosexuality. I think this is important because people shouldn't have to feel like they are different or sick because there are others like them.He explained that sometimes people think their parents dont love them but in reality they dont accept them , he says love is something thats unbreakable between the parent and child at birth. He says that acceptance comes with time.I also agree when he says that his family dynamic should be accepted instead of looked down upon because its just a new form of love.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Chyna’s response because she makes several points. We should stop focusing on the differences of people and start recognizing the similarities in everyone. When we point out the differences in people we tend to make ourselves feel more above then the other person is, all in all were all the same when it comes to living, even though we don’t have enough equity and equality we can start making the changes of discriminating people. Acceptance does take time and effort and we should make our focus on that because the more we push ourselves away from a problem the worse it’ll become for us in the future.
DeleteI thought that Andrew Solomon's ted talk was very interesting. It was nice to hear personal stories surrounding the issues of the LGBT community and especially the topic of parenting. I have never understood the issue with gay or lesbian couples having children. It is an obvious infringement of their natural rights if you deny their right to raise and have children. Solomon perfectly entwined his first hand experience on this issue with subtle humor and stories of other families. The portion of the video that really struck out to me was when he was talking about the topic of children with autism and different categories of dwarfism. When he said that parents who wish they could have had a "normal" child, it was very powerful. The fact that you would want to get rid of such a huge part of your child just because it would make it easier on you is appalling. You need to except those around you, especially those people you help bring into the world. It is your responsibility to make your children feel loved. you can not give up on your child just because he or she is a little different than someone else. I believe that Andrew Solomon expressed this perfectly in his video.
ReplyDeleteI feel that by including his personal accounts of parenting and acceptance made the story not only more valid, but deeper to connect to as well. The issues that the LGBT community faces are problems that shouldn't be there. Although there's been tons of talk about the community, not many realities of the community have made it to the surface. This kind of exposure is important because it reaches out to parents, an often huge contributor to the discrimination of the LGBT community. Hopefully, this video can open up some minds and progress the tolerance and perhaps acceptance of not only the LGBT community, but children's parents as well.
DeleteI like how you mentioned the fact that it is the parent's job to make sure that their children feel loved. I think this is key because love is a powerful thing, it can change someone’s life and impact them immensely. When I heard him explain his situation with his spouse and how they have many children with many different and all the things that they have to go through to have a family of their own. Some comments that people say where they believe that gay families are “inappropriate” is absurd. I also felt that his comment on parents who wish they had a “normal” was very interesting and eye opening. They are essentially saying that they don’t want the child that they have anymore and they want to start all over.
DeleteDevon Slone
ReplyDeleteA very useful technique that Andrew Solomon used that made his speech interesting and effective was his use of anecdotes. Throughout the speech you hear Solomon give examples of what he was talking about by connecting those stories with stories of his own that directly related to the topic at hand. There were many anecdotes used but it didn't seem to take away from what Solomon was trying to say but rather helped immensely. Also what made his speech effective was his use of pausing while talking. This helped the listener to take a second to digest what what said. It was a very useful tool that played in his favor. One quote that Solomon said really shocked me just to think that people thought that way. It was something along the lines of “Down’s (referring to people with down's syndrome ) are not people.” That line made me uneasy because that’s just absurd that one can think this way and it’s one thing to think something nut to say it out loud is another. Also, when Solomon said that when parents say “I wish my child didn’t have autism” or I wish my child didn’t have down’s syndrome” they are essentially saying that they wish that their child didn’t exist and that I wish I had another child in their place. That was a very powerful thing to say and Solomon notes that that may have been an extreme example but honestly when it comes down to it that's basically what they are saying whether or not they are realizing it. When someone has autism or down’s syndrome is may not define them as a person but it is part of who they are so wishing that they didn't have that illness or disease is essentially saying that you wish that they were someone else.
I agree with Devon that Solomon's use of anecdotes really helped his lecture. It really helped me understand what he was saying about the issues at hand. I also found Solomon's discussion about autism and down's syndrome very interesting. The issue is usually a more controversial topic, but he said it in a way that was very easy to understand. I agree that parents should just come to terms with what their children will live with for the rest of their life. It is true that autism and down's syndrome do not always define what your child's life will be like. Instead of worrying about that, I believe that parents should pay more time loving and helping their children grow.
DeleteI also agree with Devon’s response to the Andrew Solomon speech because he did provide a lot of stories in his speech so he can give the audience a visual of all of the discriminations that took place when he was growing up. The way that Solomon gave his speech evoked emotion in the audience, even discussing a topic so uncomfortable made people want to listen more instead of brushing it off to the side. The characteristics that you are born with or the things that you prefer shouldn’t define how your life will be, you should be free to anything you feel.
DeleteI like the fact that you pointed out a technique that made Solomon's speech effective. I agree that that the use of anecdotes made his speech more interesting and didn't take away from it. I also noticed the statement he made about "I wish my child didn't have autism" and I really couldn't understand or grasp what he exactly meant by that, finally got to understand it by reading your response.
DeleteI agree so much Devon. I like how you mentioned the anecdotes that Andrew Solomon used to convey his message that he was trying to bring out, I thought that nice as well because it all just seemed to connect together very well. Also, you said that he would always pause while was talking which made his speech more effective. I never even thought about that before and that is actual a good skill to use. Also, when he did recite the quote from Time Magazine about Down Syndrome children, that made me mad as well to know that some people back in the 60's thought that "Down's are not people."
DeleteIt is interesting how much the use of an anecdote or quote can change if it is being delivered by a speaker. A story written in a long article can only so much power. But a story told through the inflection and power of a speaker carries much more weight. Particularly Solomon used a story of his own childhood to display the fear that can occur in vertical culture. He also pointed out a misconception of his own and his lack of understanding of deaf culture (not knowing that such a culture even existed). Making everyone aware of his fault in this matter made the audience much more willing to trust him. They see a teacher that has been in the position they are in and become more willing to trust and listen to that teacher. Nice job identifying that kind of detail. Its the sort of thing that if it works well it goes unnoticed unless it is being looked for.
DeleteAndrew Solomon's talk about children born with "mental illness" made me aware of a reconciliation that many parents have made in regards to their children. Though he only spoke of it for mere seconds, Solomon's comment about medical advancements like abortion which can terminate the birth of a child who would be born with Down Syndrome stood out to me as I listened to his stories of parents with extreme feelings of love and affection for their children, despite their difficult lives. At a short shallow glance it almost seems hypocritical to praise such a procedure amidst preaching about the importance of accepting and loving children for the way they are. I find it interesting that humans by nature can reconcile two things which are simultaneously working to protect a child's quality of life, when one of those options means ending it. Despite my support for both abortion and loving a child for the way it is by nature, from a logical stand point, it disturbed me because of this phenomenon's existence.
ReplyDeleteFunny that we both noticed that same discrepancy in his viewpoints! It is interesting how a person can reconcile two hypocritical views and still have a great point. Their controversial nature will definitely cause conflict in history and maybe delay technological advancements in the field of preventative medicine. I believe there is a movie, not sure of the title, where it becomes the norm in society to pick out the genes in your children. Anyone born naturally was so extremely disadvantaged that it was impossible for the protagonist to fit in anywhere or find a purpose. If we were ever to move toward this type of society in the not so far future, it would surely create tension between soci-economic groups, the ones who could afford to preemptively improve their offspring's lives and those who could not. And if it got too far, why hold society to only aborting pregnancies of the serious disabled? Why not abort the living members as well? Still a crazy idea! How long can this phenomenon exist concurrently without leaning to one side or the other?
DeleteI love the message that Andrew Solomon’s shared in his Ted Talk: Love, No matter what. In the video clip, what really caught my attention was the part when Solomon talked about parents always trying to cure their child. “Deaf children born to hearing parents..Gay children born to straight parents..etc”. Solomon’s comparisons and explanation on why that is not the way he would go about it was a viable point and it really resonated with me. Another part in the clip that I truly enjoyed was hearing the story of Clinton and his parents. Clinton’s mother expressed that even with her child’s condition she still loved him and was glad that she was able to see the light within him. I agree with Andrew’s Solomon’s “Love, no matter what”. Simply put, we should be able to love NO MATTER WHAT. Regardless of how an individual appearance is, the way they talk, the way they think, whomever they chose to lay down with at night, it all does not matter. It is none of our business. What is our business is making sure that they are happy within their life and that they know that we are there for them. We should just be there for that individual and simply love them for who they are as a person and the positive, love, and rejoice that they bring into our life.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree that the idea of love no matter what was the single most important aspect of this TED talk. Acceptance and understanding is all that most people want and who are we to take that away from them? Our differences are what make us human and that is what this TED talk really addressed. I also really enjoyed the part where he discussed the parents trying to cure their children. It was very well put and was one of the most important parts of the TED talk. I really enjoyed your viewpoints and your interpretation of this talk.
DeleteI completely agree, that same part grabbed my attention. We all are the same person but have different views on life and what we think about it and who we are. I agree that we should only care about the person’s happiness instead of what they believe in, who they like or how they choose to live their life. We don’t need to know they’re whole life but we should be there for them throughout everything no matter if we agree or not.
DeleteI also agree with they idea of love no matter what. That was the main idea of the video. No one is perfect and we are all different. Regardless of those differences, everyone should be excepted. This has a lot to do with the norms of society. This allows us to question the standards that are put in place. This also connects to the part where he discussed parents trying to cure their children. this was very different from the treatment the got from his parts. His mother expressed love to him despite her thoughts.
DeleteThat same part caught my attention too. I agree with you when you said regardless of the person’s appearance, the way they talk, the way they think and whoever they choose to lay down with at night is none of our business. I also agree with what you said after that, how it is none of our business, besides making them comfortable with themselves and not judging them and letting them know they have people there for them. I really enjoy your viewpoints of this TED talk, because you made some good points about how what other people do has nothing to do with us, it is their decision, and that we should praise them in a sense for who they are as a person and what differences they bring into our community.
DeleteI agree the same part also grabbed my attention and I started to think about the views he may have. I agree that we should only care about the persons happiness and not judge them because they love what they love and that they should be able to be and do whatever they want. it shouldn't be anyone's business what someone likes and nobody should be the judge of that.
DeleteI completely agree with the idea of loving your child no matter what. But for moat parents it is really difficult to have a child with a disability. Every parent to be always wishes for a healthy baby, but what we wish for may not always come true, Obstacles thrown in our way make us more compassionate and loving in each and every way. When Andrew Soloman asked do you wish you could cure their child, and most of them said in the beginning yes, but they have come so far and learn to love and accept that they wouldn't change anything.
DeleteAndrew Solomon’s Ted was very interesting talk he used he was effective in comparing different cultures to explain how each one is valid . He said before he had done his research on deaf culture and the deaf community he viewed deafness as a disability. After becoming immersed in the deaf culture his view shifted from the pathological view of deafness to the cultural view. He started to see the deaf community, and he later realized that people within the community don’t view their deafness as a disability, and the majority would not change who they are. He then talks about disabilities and looks at them from a parental perspective. When he makes the shift to look at disabilities from the parents perspective he says that a parent’s love in unconditional, however acceptance may take time for some. His talk did well with comparing the validity of people and who they are and the unconditional love and acceptance that comes from a parent.
ReplyDeleteAdrianna replying to Mina
DeleteI also found Andrew Solomon’s point very interesting. If it had not been for my American Sign Language class this year I would most likely also see not being able to hear as a disability. However, even knowing the difference between the Deaf cultural view and the pathological view, I had never considered that this would be similar to the perspectives of families who have a child who has dwarfism or autism. The difference in perspective was new to me and something I will be more conscious about when thinking about what people commonly refer to as disabilities.
I completely agree with your response. I feel like the video was mainly about love and the love parents have towards their kids with disabilities. Another huge part of the video was the acceptance of people that are different. It is very clear that things are changing and that people are becoming more accepting but there is definitely still discrimination against homosexuals and other people who are different. I like how you included about how he viewed deaf people and I honestly didn’t even realize that he said that, great observation. And this is a well written paragraph.
DeleteI completely agree that the main message of the video\ ted talk was loving your child no matter what. And hugely about accepting other people's differences.= that we do not completely understand. I love how you mentioned the fact that if the parents of the children with "mental illnesses" and disabilities would not change their child or their circumstances for anything. They may have thought about it for the well being of their child but ultimately would not exchange them for any other.
DeleteAfter Andrew becoming immersed in the deaf culture his view shifted from the pathological view of deafness to the cultural view. He started to see the deaf community, and he later realized that people within the community don’t view their deafness as a disability. He made the statement he believes deaf is a community and he sounded very appreciative of the experience he had with the deaf. After the shift to look at disabilities from the parent’s perspective he says that a parent’s love should be unconditional. Another part in the clip that I truly enjoyed was hearing the story of Clinton and his parents. The message he portrayed about the parents love was great because a parent should love you no matter what they should not be judged by the people in their home. Another interesting fact is the stories he shared about other people suffering disabilities and the struggle the parents had to explain to them they are like everybody else. In my opinion nobody should be judged by the color of their skin, race, and to any other extent. In truthfully any parent should accept their child but that just takes time to accept your child as something you don’t believe in or even the child their self if there not accepted with themselves for the disease or abnormal thing they may have.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you 100% girl! Shamefully I always viewed people who are deaf to be disabled and I always felt bad for them because of their restrictions, however they truly aren't disabled. Being deaf enables their other senses to be stronger than most other humans. I also agree with your point on nobody should be judged to any extent. Sadly racism and misogyny are still around, but my children definitely will not be raised around any of those ideals.
DeleteI agree with you 100%! I especially agree with you when you said that he states that a parent’s love should be unconditional, because the parent should love them no matter what is “wrong” with them. I also agree when you said that the children should not feel judged in their home, because it is their home and they should feel the most safe and comfortable there. The parents of these children should not be ashamed of their child, just because they are not the same as them, they should treat them better, because in public places like school, etc. they may be bullied by their peers, and with their parents not being supportive, it’s like they are being bullied by their parents too.
DeleteI really enjoyed this video and all of the great observations that Andrew Solomon came up with from his research. He made great points about how parents think when their child comes out with a disability. He made a good point saying that people that are born gay and born deaf don’t have a disability but have their own culture. I like how he told all of these stories and while he was researching this he was using parts of his personal life to make his point more clear and it was very informative and gave me a different view of what the parents feel and think about their children who are different. I also found it astonishing how much time has changed from when he was younger to now. All of the various offensive things that were said in magazines towards gay people and towards kids with D.S is atrocious and it makes me feel like we as a people are improving.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy this response because it shares similar vies of mine that I talked about in my own paragraph. I like the part where you talked about how the parents feel because I didn't go into detail too much on that, but it’s just as important. I like that you said people are improving which can also be taken as people are being more accepting and it ties into his whole message that acceptance takes time. American society is socially progressing which is great to see.
Delete“Love is something that ideally is there unconditionally throughout the relationship between a parent and a child.” Is one of the many things that Andrew Solomon has said in this TED talk. Solomon brings up the point that parents of LGBT and dwarf communities are not supportive, that they often try to “cure” their child and the “cure” does not work. He states that he, himself was not accepted by his mother for being gay. I love the message behind this TED talk, Love, No Matter What. I agree with what Solomon is saying, because it kind of relates to what I said yesterday. Just because these people are not the exact same as we are, does not mean that they are any less than we are, just because they have Down syndrome or are gay, etc. I like how he brought up the points on how the parents are not supportive and accepting of their children, just because they are a little different than everyone else. If anything, to me that just makes them more special. I also like how Andrew Solomon shed light onto these subjects, because it seems that some people are too scared to bring it up, in fear of what others might think. It shows that he truly cares about these people and what they are going through, and I give props to him on that.
ReplyDeleteI give him props as well. I think that no parent should be ashamed of their child, because if they are ashamed, that shows that they don't know how to function with anything that is unusual. Again, that brings on the principle of fear that we see everyday. People fear and panic when something is out of the norm. People fear about being outcast in a crowd. In this scenario, the outcast is the child and parents fear about their child being different than many other children, when really they need to embrace the imperfections that their child has. The reason for this is because simply the child needs to be loved.
DeleteI agree, just because they don’t act like you, or have the same views on life as you doesn’t mean you should care less or treat them like they’re nothing. Like you said, treat them with respect that you would want for yourself or even a little more of respect. He says things that many are afraid to say, afraid to talk about but it’s the harsh reality on how people in the LGBT community are treated and what they have to deal with on a day to day basis.
DeleteA parent who is not supportive to me is that they are not any good of a parent than parents who live there kids stranded. I think that no parent should be ashamed of their child, because if they are ashamed, that shows that they don't know how to function with anything that is unusual. Honestly just because the kids don’t believe in the same thing as their parents they shouldn’t be come an outsider or be treated with disrespect or as an in different. People in the LBGT community are getting treated with such harsh words and under terms that people made. They suffer from depression because of this.
DeleteI can agree with this completely. We really do live in an awkward period where we try to ridicule and discriminate against the outsiders in our society, but at the same time, advocate the importance of love and improving one's life. People fail to accept these imperfections and, as a result, you only provoke this stunt in growth by not allowing the child to function properly. There is no better situation where the love and care a parent feels for their child is advocated for here. Its also important that child doesn't feel excluded or ashamed of their illness, but rather comes to embrace it as a difficult part of their life that they can overcome if they are ever to feel normal in modern society.
DeleteThis TED talk was very informative and interesting. As a straight woman who faces no physical disabilities, it is often difficult for me to understand the hardships that those in the LGBTQ and disabled community face. Throughout the TED talk, Andrew makes it clear that understanding is necessary in all situations. The idea of an illness is very different from a social identity. Children will develop, learn, and grow as they are. Andrew made a very interesting point when he discussed that to say that one wishes their child didn't have down syndrome is to wish that that child would no longer exist. His discussion with the mother of the Columbine shooter was incredibly interesting to me. It ties in with the idea of causation and the idea that a parent feels guilt for the issues that their children have. His experience with his child possibly having an illness was very interesting, particularly because he'd devoted so much of his life to studying families that had children with illnesses. Andrew truly reflects upon the relationship between a parent and their child. This was a very eye-opening TED talk and it forces one to reflect upon what they would do if they were in the same situation.
ReplyDeleteI find it interesting that you focused in on the guilt that parents can often feel. Guilt often seems to stem from some feeling of failure in responsibility. The parents often reflect that they wish they could have made life easier for their kids, as was mentioned by the parents of the child with Down's Syndrome. We know of course that a child being born with an illness or physical disability is rarely the fault of either parent. As you highlighted Solomon has worked to understand why parents feel guilt for something that they have no control over. There is no real answer to that, however, it seems that Solomon came closer to answer once he brought children into his own family and could begin to directly relate with those parents.
DeletePersonally, I'm not a huge fan of TED Talks, and I found this one just as tedious as I find most of them to be. However, I do think that he made numerous valid points, and overall the talk was very educational and eye opening. His comparison between being gay and being deaf was well supported and demonstrated a legitimate parallel. In addition, the stories he tells about children and families effected by DS are inspiring and were some of the more captivating parts of the entire talk.
ReplyDeleteHis message of "Love, No Matter What" is one that everyone needs to understand. Even though the majority of his talk is based, for the most part, around several cultures, it is a message that extends infinitely father. The point he makes about the difference between love and acceptance is an especially important one; love is/should be completely unconditional, while acceptance takes time.
I really liked your take on the acceptance/love aspect of this TED talk. I agree with you, this TED talk wasn't exceptional, but it definitely had it's strong points that were very eye-opening. I liked that your comment was not a completely positive interpretation, but that you made a point to address the sections of the speech that really spoke to you. I agree that "Love, No Matter What" is a very important point and one that many struggle to understand. Why was it that the section about families effected by down syndrome was the most inspiring to you? Do you feel that it gave you a deeper understanding of the disease itself?
DeleteAndrew Solomon said in this video how child illness is not always a bad thing, and that what
ReplyDeletematters most about children is the unconditional love you feel for them. He talked about how autism is viewed as a horrible travesty that is bestowed upon a child however, he offers a more accurate the true perspective about identity of that person and how they are who they are and the people who care about them have learned to love them no matter what is “wrong” with them. He make a comparison between being gay and deaf and about how at first, he thought that it must really suck to be deaf. The realized through research that both have a very defined and in depth culture that comes along with these conditions and that people who are actually deaf or gay don't really see it as a disability, just a different culture.
In terms of different cultures, I can see when it becomes a matter of perspective. In terms of gay and deaf people, to "normal" people they are viewed as people that must be cured of an ailment. However when looking at themselves, deaf and gay people just want to live their lives comfortably without people making decisions for them and to have people love them for who they are, which is how I wish society viewed this rather than as different diseases as opposed to different cultures.
DeleteThe discussion of mental illness spoke to me on a personal level. My great uncle, my grandmother's brother Lenny, was mentally disabled. He had what used to be known as mental retardation, as well as Schizophrenia. I never met my great uncle, but my middle name Lawrence is for him, and we share a Hebrew name. I often hear stories about his life, and as far as I know, he was a relatively functioning adult. He worked a simple job, was able to dress himself, and lived with my great-grandmother Kate. Although he was semi-independent, he still needed a caretaker, and that job fell Kate. She spent her entire life caring for him, cooking and housing him, and when he passed away she was still alive. She is exactly the parent that Solomon was discussing, and I guarantee that had Solomon talked to my great grandmother, she would have said the exact same thing. He was a person, just like everyone else. He had thoughts, emotions, and relationships. She loved Lenny, despite his disability, because he was her child, and it didn't matter that he wasn't fully functioning. I think this story really influenced my life, and my connection to Lenny and Kate, despite never knowing either of them, is incredibly strong. I am extremely passionate about disabled rights, and everything that Solomon said resonated with me. We as a society need to understand what he said, and realize that everyone deserves love, no matter their condition.
ReplyDeleteI relate to your story. My younger cousin has down's syndrome, and as a kid We (me and my siblings) were sometimes on "Quinten duty" whenever we went to visit or attended an event with our relatives. With no knowledge or any kind of insight on his mental disability, I know I was never confident with how to interact with Quinten until I was much older and understood why he was so different. Throughout my learning, I couldn't help but notice how loving and supportive my aunt always was of his son, in ways I couldn't rationalize because I've never had to experience it. She truly loved him and it was unconditional just like the story of your great uncle Lenny.
DeleteI can relate to Andrew Soloman’s discussion of mental illness and your reflection on it. I to have someone in my family who is mentally challenged. Specifically, she is my aunt, my mom’s sister Daniele. Our family has showed her unconditional love, but not everyone has treated her the same way as us unfortunately. She still lives with my grandmother who takes care of her and helps her. My grandmother has always loved her and has always tried to make my aunts life normal. Normal for us is not the same normal for everyone else, which is why certain people misunderstand people who are different from them. My grandmother raised my aunt to pursue the things that she wanted. Such as being a part of the Special Olympics, until about three years ago when she became too old for the games. We all do the polar plunge every year to support my aunt because we know it makes her happy. We do whatever we can to make her happy and that is love.
DeleteSolomon highlights the vertical and horizontal identities that everyone in our society affiliates themselves with. These affiliations are vital, they allow us to exist in a complicated and diverse communities. But the same thing that allows this diversity is also what can often drive wedges between us.
ReplyDeleteMy brother had been very sick as an earlier teenager. Although research on this disease is not complete, there is a valid belief that the disease is carried genetically. There was a girl he had been seeing for awhile and their relationship had become pretty serious. Being roughly the same age, it would make sense that the would have similar horizontal culture. Which they fundamentally did. However, they had stark differences from their vertical cultures. Eventually these vertical identities where too different for them to keep seeing each other.
This kind of fear and mistrust is often passed down our generations. Having disastrous effects on our national culture and causes major social issues. Grudges aren't easily forgotten, it may be that differences will continue to divide purely because we have different vertical cultures.
Andrew Solomon comes off as rather blase at first impressions, and then he continues his speech. While at times very monotone, Solomon is very passionate in his opinions. He speaks of gay, the deaf culture, dwarfism and those with Down's syndrome. How they aren't accepted socially in the 20th century, how it was acceptable to leave children in the hospital to die, or that mentally disabled people, aren't people at all. He speaks of how his opinion changed from illnesses and disease to cultures and ways of life. People have a set mind on what they want in their perfect families, and when they get a child that doesn't fit those beliefs, they consider themselves unlucky, while in truth it is the child that is unlucky. Unlucky to have parents who do not love them because of a change in circumstance. When Solomon speaks of his own dread at having a disabled child, I heard how conflicted he seemed. Can he deal with the challenges he will face, or would he rather have a perfect child. Can anyone truly accept a challenge to their way of life, if they have not grown up in that way of life?
ReplyDeleteThe two quotes from respected articles in the 1960's shocked me immensely. It is incredible to think about how far society has come in all instances of abnormalities. My biggest thought is what will happen in a world where medicine makes medical disadvantages obsolete? As medicine advances, disabilities like dwarfism and deafness with be seen in less and less people. of course, this may be viewed as a great advance in society! But the few who are left with these disabilities will be left with a shrinking support base and culture. Could reducing the genetic chance of disability be actively destroying a culture? Especially the notion Solomon presents about eliminating pregnancies that show signs of Down's Syndrome. Again, this can be argued as a great accomplishment, but it can also be understood as a sort of segregation in the womb, whether you are pro-choice or not. Definitely an interesting idea.
ReplyDeleteI also found the reconciliation between modern medicine and the love and culture that Solomon preached interesting. Its interesting that we praise medicine for removing or diminishing the effects of diseases, however we have a natural instinct to love our children as they are. Abortion truly is a complicated and sensitive issue as it almost directly contradicts the idea of taking one's child for what they are and loving them no matter what. I personally think it is overall beneficial to society, but it does create this idea of "segregation in the womb". For the first time in history we can almost pick and choose our children's traits.
DeleteI enjoyed this Ted Talk very much because I feel as though it gives a lot of people information about how people think in situations whether they have a physical or mental disability or they are different from others. Me, being a bisexual girl, I feel as though now my sexuality has a culture. Just like being straight, gay, lesbian, transgender, having down's syndrome, or anything else that makes you more different from the people around you. From watching this Ted Talk I really feel as though we have improved a lot since back then. Yes, gay marriage was just legalized not that long ago and people are still discriminated against because of who they are, but we are improving. Slowly, but surely, we will have equality like we claim to already have.
ReplyDeleteI am proud of the progress we’re making too and I want it to continue and I’m aware your post was more about the acceptance of homosexuality which isn’t the same as what I’m talking about, but the progress of acceptance needs to be discussed. That being said, speaking of progress is very important in a situation where the past seems so dark, especially when the future seems so bright. But we must remember that even progress brings its own problems. Solomon mentioned that there could be a cure for Dwarfism, for example, this could be a huge decision for a parent, it is actually deciding the identity of your child. Something that I believe a parent should not do, but I could also see myself wanting to protect my child from illness. Imagine yourself in that situation.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAndrew Soloman talked about how people’s views on “illnesses” witch include but are not limited to people who are gay, mentally challenged and psychologically unstable, causes them to not love that certain individual. He talks about how people including parents view “ill people” as a disgrace, and are not capable of showing these people love. One cannot control their disabilities, imperfections, or desires. Does this mean that someone who cannot help their health or emotions to be unloved? People are meant to be the way they are, this diversity is important. Everyone deserves love, because love creates happiness which is a major driving force for ones will to survive. Life is too precious to make mediocre because one cannot provide love to someone who is different. People should learn to at least accept people for who they are, as a step towards providing love. People who do not love someone because they are not the same as them shows how vain, self-absorbed, and odious they are.
ReplyDelete
DeleteI completely agree with your response. Everyone deserves love no matter who they are, what they choose to be, and who they love. People with disabilities and illness’ did not choose to be this way. That is how they were born. I think that it is our job as a society to accept them and show them that they are just like us. They deserve to be treated the same way people without disabilities and illness’ are treated. I also agree with you when you said that “people should learn to…accept people for who they are.” In doing this, I think that society will be on its way to becoming a more acceptable society that is filled with love.
It really is important that there be diversity in society, in today's day and age of all times. Having a diverse population ensures a fully flexible and functional society, whereby this mixing of cultures and ideals forms solutions and questions never believed possible. We hinder ourselves when we are no longer open to people that are, fundamentally, still a part of our society. We shouldn't divide people for something they can't help. Solomon tells of the endless love that parents give to their afflicted children, no matter the cost or longevity that their life could offer. It demonstrates the compassion that humanity is capable love, if we could only overcome this mentality that prevents us from extending this outward towards others.
DeleteAndrew Solomon’s message of “Love, no matter what”, aligns with how I feel about society as I believe at the end of the day, we are all people regardless of our disabilities or preferences in life. The anecdotes he uses accurately depict real life scenarios that people may face more often than we know or even stop to think about, such as when he spoke about his mother deciding which color balloon he should prefer as a male. I find it rather frustrating how parents who have children who turn out to be very different from themselves, such as having a gay child or a deaf child, make decisions for the child about who they should make themselves out to be, but I see that that is the role of a parent early on, to make decisions for a child who may not be able to do so. However I find it does become irritating when the child is able to make decisions for them, yet the parents are adamantly against it due to it conflicting with their own beliefs. I understand that there are consequences to every decision and unfortunately they can lead to conflicts in the future, maybe in terms of the child against society based on decisions made by the child itself or the parents, or maybe even become conflicts between a child and its parents once the child reaches a certain age or wants to adopt an identity that differs from the parents expectations.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your stance on this video, especially when you talk about how society should become tolerant of people who are different than us. I also agree that the anecdotes he used to further convey his message helped me gain an understanding of the topics talked about in the lecture. Andrew Solomon definitely gave a more personal take on the issues of the LGBT community and the complex parenting of children with mental illness.
DeleteAdrianna replying to Nick
DeleteI really liked that your response focuses on the title, “Love, no matter what”, and the role of parents in a child’s life and development. As a teenager, I have never personally thought about how much my parent influenced my early life and my life now. The use of Andrew Solomon’s personal experience with his mother’s influence over his development as a child, and how it wasn’t positive for his development. I think this was an interesting point, and it really makes me question what would happen for the future generation if our generation is a more open and thoughtful group of parents.
What made this TED Talk so effective for me was how Andrew Solomon used personal stories to convey these ideas of change and acceptance. As a person without any of these crippling social or medical issues, its very insightful to hear about how these families feel about their afflicted children. It really expresses how willing people are to stick to their ideals of what they believe to be a perfect family. The intrinsic love that a parent has for its child is only amplified when they learn of the disadvantages they may face. Its almost reassuring to see how far we have progressed over an otherwise small span of time. At the same time, Solomon's talk brings to light the phenomenon involving abortion, where people that advocate love and comfort for children no matter their condition, at the same time deny their chance to live it. How is it that we are able to accept this paradox of improving one's life by ending it? Nevertheless, this presentation spoke volumes about this almost bizarre compassionate nature humans may very well be capable of extending beyond their own kin.
ReplyDeleteThe abortion paradox can also be applied to the issue of assisted suicide. Is one's life really so painful and difficult that they should be allowed to escape it before their body naturally expires. It is strange to be faced with the idea of losing someone we love, even if they are flawed. It is easier to grapple with the loss of a child who isn't fully formed and whom you've never met, especially when at the forefront of one's mind is that child's troubled future. Once they are in front of you and you see them as an individual human being with opinions, habits, and quirks, its understandable to find unconditional love from parents.
DeleteI can't imagine having that diminished because they are different.
As I watched the Ted Soloman show it really surprised how insightful he was trying to convey his message through the personal interviews he had with each family. We as society look at the unknown as something that is not normal or it is an "illness" as he put it when he quoted articles from decades ago. It is so true, about not knowing how much you love someone until you have a child. My mother also told me that, a mothers love is unbreakable even if there life is not so called "perfect." Parents are faced with difficult decisions everyday, its a matter of what cards are dealt to them. In reality it is the struggle that brings most of us together. Everyone can use all the help they can get. When society doesn't understand something we try to ignore it or get rid of it. One of the examples he used is in the 1960's a child with D.S can be basically killed secretly or put in unfit place where they can die slowly. Now currently we have evoled so much over the decades that we can provide for the disabled in a apprpiate manner and help them become successful just like any other individual.
ReplyDeleteThis video was very moving in so many ways, I love it so much. The one thing that I got out of this is learning how to love your child and accepting the fact that they are different in any way, whether it be the fact they are a homosexual, a child with Down Syndrome, etc. Any parent who wouldn’t love their child for who they are is just downright cruel, because it does show disrespect and that you have no unconditional love for the child. It shows that you only love and accept kids who are of the norm. I love this talk that Andrew Solomon gave because me a lot to think in terms of how we all develop in many different ways. This talk gave me a great outlook on how society turned from conservative views to liberal views as well. I like how he recites the quotes from Time Magazine from the 1960s and then he gives examples about how times changed from then to now during his talk. The part in which he started talking about the vertical identities and horizontal identities was really interesting and it made so much sense, how vertical identities are passed down from generation to generation in families and how horizontal identities are something we learn from our peers. I love the fact that he thought about his mother’s quote and how it applied to him in his life when he was dealing with the unknown state or condition of how his son was going to turn out. “The love you have for your children is unlike any other feeling in the world, and until you have children, you don’t know what it feels like.” In a sense, that quote really did play a role throughout his whole life, from childhood, to his work, and to when he had his child.
ReplyDeleteAdrianna
ReplyDeleteThis was a very informative Ted talk. As a teenager who has not physical or mental disabilities many of the topics brought up and talked about in the video where concepts I had never really put much thought into. I really thought that the emphasis on the change of acceptance of peoples differences from the article in the sixties and today was shocking, and had to take a minute to process that this was really what people thought of others who were different from themselves. I also really like the personal stories he share about others personal experience with their children being different, I think this personal message was what really kept me interested in the topic. By sharing differences in families experiences and the differences between how they viewed their children originally, and then how they viewed them once they accepted them fully was really eye opening to a family group evolving and the difference between love and acceptance.
I agree that as a teenager that also does not have any physical or mental disabilities that Solomon's Ted Talk brought up a lot of different concepts that I never really put much thought into. The articles from the 60s that he brought up were completely shocking and it’s sad to think that those things that were said in Times Magazine were mainstream ideas that most people agreed with at the time. Although we have come a long way from thinking that being homosexual was an illness, to president Barak Obama passing bills on gays rights, I still feel like people still have a lot to learn.
DeleteI like the way Andrew Solomon started off the conversation with the quote from the Time magazine in 1966. This was pair with two questions, “how did we get from there to here? How did an illness become an identity?” This made me think about change. At first many believed that being gay was a mental illness and now gay marriage is legal. I think that is video is a great example of change. Change is inevitable. This shows that we have made some progress but, there is still a long way to go. The title, “Love, no matter what” is very powerful. I think that many individuals could learn from this video. Everyone should be free to live the life that they choose. Every person should be accepted for who they are, despite their differences. There is a deeper meaning to those words. Solomon explains the difference between love and acceptance. Yet, I do think that the two correspond with each other. If you love someone then you should accept them. That was very important to me. Love is unconditional. It is kind and it is pure. How do you truly love someone if you do not accept them? Regardless of how “different” a person may be, we should love them for who they are. I love the message of the video and it is very informative.
ReplyDeleteI like how you reminded me of the article in 1966 and his main two questions that he started his argument with. It reminded me of what his objective in his talk was. I also love the quote "change is inevitable" nice job going into deeper detail on the difference between love and acceptance because it was a very important part. I like your take on the meaning of the two words and that you're not afraid to challenge what he's saying and I agree with what you're saying that its hard to comprehend how you can love someone, but not accept them.
DeleteSociety has it's own definition of what constitutes as a 'regular' or 'acceptable' person. We as individuals and as a collective unit typically base the way we treat people according to these definitions and standards. Recently, many of the factions that are deemed 'abnormal' or 'unacceptable' have risen up, exposed the injustices they faced, and pressed society into treating them humanely. These courageous groups have redefined and expanded the definitions of normality. Andrew Solomon spoke about how in the 1960's , homosexuality was seen as nothing more than a disease. He made the parallel to his present day, where the president of the united states supports gay marriage (and 3 years later in our present, gay marriage has become legal). The strides we have made in correcting our exclusionary expectations are something to celebrate. We still have a long ways to go, however. Some groups still are oppressed on a daily basis. Continuing this trend that we have set, one day they too will know equality and liberty.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately what you say about society's standards of the "regular" or "acceptable" person ring true, and while I believe that we should try to eliminate these fabrications which just force us to turn a blind eye to what is abnormal or to "fix" it and strive to be normal, this is the society we currently live in and it is frustrating. It might take courageous groups of people to advocate for change once again just like other groups in the past but it will also take time for society to even become accepting of the changes which took place, possibly even with plenty of backlash along the way.
DeleteAllan Johnson
DeleteLuis, speaking of progress is very important in a situation where the past seems so dark, especially when the future seems so bright. But we must remember that even progress brings its own problems. Solomon mentioned that there could be a cure for Dwarfism, for example, this could be a huge decision for a parent, it is actually deciding the identity of your child. Something that I believe a parent should not do, but I could also see myself wanting to protect my child from illness. Imagine yourself in that situation.
That being said I am proud of the progress we’re making and I want it to continue. Also I’m aware your post was more about the acceptance of homosexuality which isn’t the same as what I was talking about, but the progress of acceptance needs to be discussed.
The way he started of the video was a little breath taking when the quote really took into depth the seriousness of the topic. I like how he stated that in 1963 people saw someone being gay as an illness something that need to be treated but then in 2015 the president who was of color, made it okay and legal for gay marriage. I like the many personal stories he attributed to his speech, giving examples of the ways many people live their lives in fear of standing out. The many stories sharing where the families of gay couples may be split but it doesn't matter everything is still the same. I believe that when society views something as different they don't like it and they try to eradicate it and make it something that won't become possible. With the help of everyone even at this slow pace eventually there will be a time where everyone will feel equal and feel as if they do not have to worry about what society tells them they are.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete"...the love that you have for your children is unlike any feeling in the world, and until you have children, you don't know what it feels like."
ReplyDeleteI nor non of my classmates knows what the love this man speaks of is like (to my knowledge). Yet we watch this man tell the stories of these families and listen to their profound, thought provoking quotes and feel some what moved by what we are hearing. It gives me the sense that even the presence of that love he is speaking about effects us.
The identity of my future children shall not be something I try to influence or effect. As a parent in face of the situation that my child is autistic, or has D.S. or is a dwarf, or is transgendered, my job is to guide them to a easier happier life using love and support. But even knowing that wouldn't stop my heart from dropping at the news of my newborn child having a disability, even though my child could be just as capable, we want to protect them from illness. These parents, transcend the idea of being a great parent and are the true idols and heroes. These parents, whose children face disability are what we should all strive to be like, they create the people who change the world and defy the odds. I want to be that strong and courageous.
Aleah Adams
DeleteI feel the exact way! I watch many young parents, and many parents in general try to dictate their childrens lives or pick a path for them to live and it irks me so much! I agree with you completely on how you're going to raise your kids, I plan on doing the same thing because to me children are innocent and deserve to make decisions for themselves. I'm going to love my child no matter what they choose to be or the person they come out as because they're a product of me and I'll love them unconditionally. Children learn their morals from their parents, therefore I'll instill acceptance in my child from the day their born.
I completely agree with you Allan now in this day in age so many people are against the feeling of change and mostly parents dictate the path there children choose. If there not trying to take over they are trying to persuade them to change. I also like you opinion on how you raise your children and I would do the same I won’t try to persuade my child to be different I want them to be okay with who they are and not try to change them and they should be okay with the fact that they have different views than other and they shouldn’t change.
DeleteI completely agree. Love should be unconditional, regardless of what their child wants for themselves. It's inhumane to stop your child from being themselves. It's cruel and wrong to be anything but supportive. I feel like this generation will be more accepting because of the trend that has been set. We have gotten exponentially more accepting as a society in the last fifty years. It will be a lot easier to be whoever you want to be without judgement.
DeleteAs I watched the video i felt a sense of pride, everyone is their own person and should be treated as such no matter, what they look like, what they like, or how they feel. whether a person is transgender, gay or autistic, a person is still a person. I was moved when Andrew Solomon said that he liked the color pink, a stereotypical color assoiciated with girls and his mother forced him into saying that blue, "a boy color" was his favorite color as a young child, a now as an adult , blue is his favorite color, and he is a gay man. He went on to say how his mother only influenced him to an extent. This shows that people are who they are, one cannot change his internal beliefs and feelings, just because it makes someone else uncomfortable, or seems socially unacceptable. Society likes to pick apart people for who they are, and how they are living, like when Soloman talked about the families and how they are not the average family but they are still a family. Soloman used individual personal stories, to show how the world is changing and there is nothing wrong with it, people need to be more open minded and accepting.
ReplyDeleteOut of everything that was said, my focus went primarily to the idea of love and acceptance. Something that I loved to hear from Andrew Solomon was when he said, "Love is something that ideally is there unconditionally throughout the relationship between a parent and a child." Although that's how relationships between parents and kids should be, all too often the bond is damaged, and a lot is due to misunderstanding and absence of acceptance. It spoke out to me because I know a person who is in conflict with their family because they feel more comfortable as a woman, rather than a man. The concept of unconditional love sounds nice in theory, but doesn't always apply. It makes me wish more families were accepting when their child comes out to them; it's something that takes a lot of courage and strength to project. In reality, it is almost impossible for everyone to accept their children and love them no matter what. Although acceptance is far beyond societal reach, it is possible for more people to develop tolerance, which would be the next step towards not only embracing our society, but create safer and more loving homes for the LGBT community. Many things over the course of history have been able to progress, and this is something that needs to be improved.
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you focused on one part of the video, and the part you chose was one that also stood out to me. I notice how you said that although love is unconditionally there, the bond is damaged. I agree in a way because I think that the bond may be broken because of the misunderstanding, but I don’t think that the parent stops loving the child. I think that although they don’t understand the child, deep down, they still love them. I know that this is not always the case, but I think that in the cases where it is true, the parents just don’t understand the child and they are still trying to figure out how to accept their child for who they want to be. Like Andrew Solomon says, “Acceptance takes time.” I think that this is especially true in the fact that the parents did grow up in another time period, and all of their past values and ideals are being rewritten and changed. I, however, am not agreeing with the parents, I just wanted to try and understand the parent’s side of the issue.
ReplyDeleteAt the beginning of the video, I did not realize immediately that the words Andrew Solomon were saying weren’t an original quote. I was so relieved when he cited the source of the quote because I wasn’t looking forward to hearing a 20 minute rant from someone who’s against homosexuality. Aside from homosexuaity, Andrew touched on a lot of important issues that are still occurring in the world today. Topics such as families with disabled children. His approach was very interesting, but I sometimes found it hard to follow because he often bounced from one topic to the next. The part when he began telling a personal story about his own children and the issues he almost went through was a huge eye opener. It showed me how no matter how accepting someone is of those who are disabled, they never want their own loved ones to be that way. It made me really wonder how i’d react if I was in that situation.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that I didn't know it was a direct quote either. I was also intrigued when I realized it wasn't him saying what he was saying. I liked how you wrote the important part where he was talking about families and how they are important and hard to maintain.
DeleteI found Andrew Solomon’s Ted Talk extremely interesting, and the point of views he spoke of were very visual and easy to imagine. I think the concept of “how an illness turned into an identity” is a very interesting topic that most people don’t necessarily acknowledge. Solomon has said he did research on the deaf community, and that he had come to the conclusion that their disability was an illness. But later on after meeting many deaf people and experiencing their lifestyles, he had come to the conclusion that being deaf was not an illness, but an identity. He connected that story to many different perspectives and topics and I found that very interesting. I completely agree with the fact that people’s influences on you can only go so far, and once you become an adolescent it is your duty to find your identity and gain self-acceptance.
ReplyDelete